it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
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