I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
and you fell through a lawn chair
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
