Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Randomize
