He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
third nipple confirmed
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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