Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
