Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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