i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
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