i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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