it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
