Do you still have your period?
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Randomize
