I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Randomize
