how can u be prego again
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
