All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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