I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
