everyone is single if you try hard enough
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
