My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
