Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
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