I wanna bring you to show and tell
did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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