hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Randomize
