Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
