Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
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