Where are you?
In a non slutty way
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
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