1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
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