The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
