Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
