I'm really into asian looking animals
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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