i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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