Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
