Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
