i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
did i walk over a car last night?
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Randomize
