Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
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