this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
