i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
How drunk are you?
Completed.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
