I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Randomize
