there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Randomize
