I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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