Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
