There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
