I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
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