We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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