Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
