ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
