Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
