Capitaan dildo arrescate!
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Randomize
