Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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