I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
the room spins SO much faster in panama
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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