I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
