how can u be prego again
I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
