The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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