Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
