Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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